COMMENTARY: Size Matters. It Really Does.

Size Matters. It Really Does. by Dr Lester Simon

1. Size matters. It really does. No. This is not X-rated. Yes. It is X-rated. Make up your mind. That’s the point. Make up your mind. Where will you put your X? Are you going to vote? For whom? For what? For which party? When?

2. You are fast asleep. A genie from your bedside lamp appears in your dream. She tells you that you have one wish. One wish to make Antigua and Barbuda great for the first time. You try to wake up. The genie holds you down on the bed and threatens to pour some of whatever she carries in her lamp over your head unless and until you take her seriously, because the fate of the nation depends on your wish.   

3. You want to make a wish for more sleep for one thousand and one nights, but the genie reads your sleeping thoughts and says that your thought of sleeping for one thousand and one nights is awfully unoriginal because she herself has just woken up to help Antigua and Barbuda after sleeping for one thousand and one nights. She says she sees our worry about the coming of the North People, and our ancestors sent her to you. Just you.

4. You tell the genie that everyone is saying that with the coming of the North People, we must form the United States of the Caribbean and maybe that should be your wish. The genie tells you that for that to happen, Antigua and Barbuda must conquer some very serious internal political warfare; warfare that might be worse than the effects of the North People. She tells you that the greatest and primary threat to us is internal political tribalism. Then she tells you to think about it; look at the past general elections and do the math.  She said she would return the next night to fulfil your wish, but she will only visit you three times in total, so you have two nights left.

5. You wake in cold sweat. You go to your computer. In the last general elections, the ABLP won 9 seats, the UPP won 6, an independent won 1, and the BPM won the 1 Barbuda seat. A total of 17. But wait. The ABLP won 47.06 % of the votes. The UPP won 45.22 %. The Independent won 5.17 %. Leaving out the 1 seat in Barbuda, how can the 16 seats in Antigua be more proportionately allocated based on the percentage of the popular vote? The math reveals that ABLP would win 8 seats, the UPP would win 7 seats, and the independent would win 1 of the 16 seats on Antigua.

6. You go to bed that night, trying very hard to fall asleep for the genie to visit. Eventually, the genie comes, and you are eager to proudly enounce your wish. The genie suggests that you give some more thought to your wish since your thought, as good as it is so far, is incomplete. She says she would return tomorrow night, the final night.

7. That morning, you go back to the computer. Clearly, the prime minister would come from the winners of the eight seats. On reflection, you wonder what would happen in any general elections if the 16 seats in Antigua are shared equally between the ABLP and the UPP, 8, 8? Can it be that an independent candidate, winning one single seat, can decide who becomes the prime minister, including himself? Perish the thought. And what about Barbuda?

8. The third night, you have even more difficulty falling asleep than the night before. Where is this trend of thought going? This is too much pressure. You want to stay awake all night to keep the genie away, but you remember the genie said that your wish will cut out much of the political tribalism that is destroying the nation. This is your chance, your only chance , the only chance for the nation to be great for the first time.    

9.You go over the math again. The math is correct, but this time you reach the inescapable conclusion that it must be the voters themselves who directly elect the prime minister. This will be a separate vote from the vote of a representative or a party.  We must vote for the prime minister from a list of all the running candidates who want to be prime minister. Brilliant!

10. You put your thoughts together to make one wish to the genie. Sleep is eluding you. You toss and turn and pray for sleep. You count. You count sheep. You count rats, stray dogs, damaged garbage bins,  and dilapidated and abandoned buildings in the city. You count vehicles and add extras for the scandalous missing ones. You count votes. You imagine a new Antigua and Barbuda. The hours pass and pass again. Suddenly, you see a flicker of light. The genie is coming. The genie is coming. Finally, Antigua and Barbuda will be saved. With your drooping eyes and tired mind, you pretend to be fast asleep. Nothing happens. Where is the genie?

11. It’s the wee hours of the morning. You want to get up to wee-wee but you dare not. The entire nation depends on you and would surely forgive you all the days of your life for wetting the bed. But no. It’s too late, too early. A soft incandescent light climbs gingerly through the window. It’s the unwelcoming light of daybreak. Dawn approaches, not the genie. The genie is not coming because you are not sleeping.

12. Legend has it that for the next one thousand and one days and nights, you can be seen walking all over Antigua and Barbuda with your eyes closed, fast asleep, indelible ink on one finger (some say two fingers), an X on your forehead, and a lamp in your hand.   

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